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• boys in fights: i hate you man fuck you
• girls in fights: Your eyes are uneven and you're fat and you're an attention whore and you're dumb and I bet the only reason you have good grades is because you sleep with your teachers. Also, I had sex with your boyfriend. And also I deleted you off facebook and unfollowed you and I hope you live alone for the rest of your life and even your cats run away from you. PS your mom is sleeping with her yoga teacher. Bye, cunt.

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• parents: why are you awake so early
• me: who said i went to sleep

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• me (surprised): omg
• me (amused): omg
• me (angry): omg
• me (sad): omg
• me (nostalgic): omg
• me (annoyed): omg
• me (scared): omg

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80 years from now;

• Me: //falls//
• Granddaughter: GRANDMA ARE YOU OKAY?
• Me: //laughs// HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP
• Granddaughter: Grandma this isn't the time for your old 2000 jokes!
• Me: WATCH OUT WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE
• Granddaughter: GRANDMA!
• Me: YOLO

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